Wat do u think of my lyf so far lately?

I was so sad in the 6th grade tht i tried 2 kill myself (i was 12) & sumthin happened & made me feel better (til i fell in <3). wen tht guy didn't lyk me (i had tried everything i cood 2 get him). my great grandma died & i found out tht he was dating another girl. then i met another guy & fell in <3 w/ him b/c he gave me hugs wen i needed them & made me feel better. but then he started avoiding me, & i would cry & carry on & wonder if he cares. i told him tht, (tht's lyk my dirty little secret. the only reason i tell ppl idk about it is tht i feel more comfy than i wood w/ a friend) & he told me not 2 kill myself. then i learned tht he only did tht just 2 b nice. then he started talkin 2 me & sure i felt better. but wen i think of all the guys i gave my heart 2 just 2 have it ripped apart it makes me think i'll never find the ryt guy. I'm sick of the hopelessness. O & i'm an ameture rokstar so thts how i lyk 2 express myself & i c tht most of my songs r about broken hearts. & all of tht stuff.